


The Wrong Immortal

by Morvith



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Eavesdropping, Genealogy, Nicolò da grande vuole fare la portinaia, Self-Indulgent, Self-Insert, Silly, Slice of Life, Someday I will stop using my personal interests in fanfiction but that day is not today, This fic is totally useless
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:54:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25880899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morvith/pseuds/Morvith
Summary: In which a random conversation overheard in an Italian cafè almost causes three immortals a heart attack.
Comments: 10
Kudos: 132





	The Wrong Immortal

“...e non ho ancora trovato l'Immortale.”1

Across the table, Nile stiffens almost imperceptibly. She is still learning Italian, but she recognizes that word anyway, just as clearly as he and Yusuf do. They just have more experience in hiding their reactions, even if hearing _those_ words, _here,_ only a few months after the labs... Alarm bells are ringing loud and clear, not just in his head.

Yusuf presses his knee against Nicolò's own under the table and casually leans forward, his eyes scanning the café and the square outside. Nicolò leans to the left, his chin on his hand and he pretends to look through the menu again.

There are two women sitting at the small table next to them – one blonde, one brown-haired, both around 7 palms tall, glasses, summer dresses that would never conceal a weapon, unless Dark Hair's baby bump is fake, she _was_ the one speaking...

Ah. No. Definitely real. A fake one wouldn't move like that. Also, even accounting for the heat, no one could fake swollen ankles and feet so well.

Nicolò listens, tries not to miss a single word even in the din of the café. Abruptly, his shoulders relax and his lips curve in a small smile.

  
Nile meets his eyes. “Trap?” she asks in Arabic.

Nicolò shakes his head. “Genealogy.”

Yusuf bumps his knee again, clearly unimpressed.

“The lady is researching her family tree. Her great-great grandmother's death certificate has proved somewhat elusive, so...”

Nile snorts incredulously, covering her mouth with her hand. “Seriously?” She looks torn between laughing and facepalming. “What are the odds?”

Yusuf chuckles softly and leans back against his chair, his knee still pressed against Nicolò's.

“Oh, wait, that's not all... Great-great-grandma had a shotgun wedding.” A pause. “So did great-great-great-grandpa and grandma on the other side of the family.”

Nile loses her battle and laughs.

“Nosy.” Yusuf rolls his eyes at him, but the fondness in his voice betrays him as usual.

At the next table, the dark-haired woman throws up her hands disconsolately.

“There's a gap in the church records right about when great-great-great grandpa probably died and our amateur genealogist is not happy about it. Also, early 19th century wedding records are a pain to read and don't report the bride and groom's ages. It's most aggravating.”

“For the shotgun wedding?” Yusuf asks.

“I can't believe you two.” Nile shakes her head, then frowns thoughtfully. “What were shotgun weddings called before shotguns were invented?”

Nicolò lets Yusuf answer her, still focusing on the women's conversation. There's no need to, but he can't help it: as his beloved said, he _is_ nosy. Even before his first death, gossip was his greatest weakness. He never spread it around, but he liked hearing about it.

Besides, there's something irresistible when people about their passions and interests, whatever they are, even when he personally doesn't know the first thing about them. Perhaps especially then.

As Yusuf and Nile go back to discussing what to do next, he leans back and listens.

* * *

1 _e non ho ancora trovato l'Immortale_ : and I haven't found The Immortal yet.

**Author's Note:**

> Great-great-grandma Angela has been nicknamed "The Immortal" since 2018, so she has got dibs. 
> 
> The shotgun weddings were real. Sadly, so is the gap in the church record and the legibility of the early 19th century wedding records. 
> 
> Nile's question almost certainly doesn't work in Arabic, but oh well. 
> 
> For a more serious note, a Genoese palm is 0,248083 m. (Sorry, Imperial and US customary units of measure users, you are on your own)


End file.
